Categorization

Oh lord, we White people love to do this. We like to find out where everyone who not like us (i.e. non white, different accent, etc..) is from or what their cultural background is. Why do we need to know? Some say curiosity, but I ask you, how many non white people do you see doing this. Honest to god, what are we... census takers?

Now don't get me wrong, I am every bit as guilty of this as the next person. I am really trying hard on this. Part of why I used to do it, was from my own white guilt. I wanted to make sure everyone knew I wasn't a racist and so wanted a diverse group of friends. Naturally some of my new acquaintances wouldn't have a dramatically different look from me, so if they were Jewish, or from some country that was oppressed, all the better. Now how twisted is that? Well fortunately I came to see this side of myself and am trying hard to put a stop to it. Not that I haven't stopped being curious, I still have to stop myself from asking someone with an accent where they are from.

Some people do this catagorization thing because as White people in this country we are obssesed with making sure we know where we stand. Even subconsciously we have issues with assuming that if some one isn't White that they must somehow be beneath us, or at the very least in need of our help. Take the one drop rule that said if you had 1/16th of African American in your blood that you were Black. Please be assured this was so we knew who are subordinates were. We couldn't have people "passing" as White, that would be dishonest.

So next time you are about to utter the phrase "Where are you from?" just stop to think why you are asking. Even if it's curiosity it's not a legitimate reason. If they are someone that you can get along with, then it doesn't matter. I need to close in saying that for some people such as myself this can be a hard habit to break. At work I have a coworker who is Asian, I don't know from where, but that part of my mind that just has to put people in order is going nuts. It's almost sad to the point of being funny. We were talking the other day and she mentioned that her folks where from England. So right here my little catagorization alarm is going crazy "Just ask her if she was adopted or something," my mind is screaming, "You have to know, why doesn't she have an accent, what is the whole story?" That's when I have to stop and ask myself why it is any of my bussiness and why do I need to know. If my friend wanted to share that she would. She has never once asked me about my cultural background, maybe because it never occured to her to. Whatever the reason she doesn't.

So I continue to work with her and we have great talks, she likes Family Guy, and numerous other things that help us have things in common. So where is she from and what's her deal? I don't know, I may never know, and if I want to be a better person and really work on my issues as a White person I may never know. And that will just have to be OK.